When your husband tells you, “I want a divorce,” it crumbles your world. Or at least, it crumbled mine. For a while I just sat there, buried under the rubble, not caring to dig my way out. And I felt stuck, under the pressure. I didn’t have the strength to push myself out.
So I had to finally accept that I needed more help than weekly counseling sessions provided me. As much as I wanted to heal my depression and anxiety without medication, I couldn’t do it.
Two months later, I know I made the right choice. Although I’m still experiencing some anxiety and depression, I’m able to do more than cry and lay in bed. I’m able to work two jobs (and drive myself to both), write a little, and even smile. These may not sound like big accomplishments, but to someone with depression and anxiety, they’re huge.
And slowly, I’m working toward making even bigger steps. In a couple of days, when my divorce is final and this is all behind me, I’ll have to completely rebuild. I have already started my foundation but I need to take the rubble and build something new: a world of my own. One in which I have strength to hold up under pressure without crumbling.