Rebuild

When your husband tells you, “I want a divorce,” it crumbles your world. Or at least, it crumbled mine. For a while I just sat there, buried under the rubble, not caring to dig my way out. And I felt stuck, under the pressure. I didn’t have the strength to push myself out.

So I had to finally accept that I needed more help than weekly counseling sessions provided me. As much as I wanted to heal my depression and anxiety without medication, I couldn’t do it.

Two months later, I know I made the right choice. Although I’m still experiencing some anxiety and depression, I’m able to do more than cry and lay in bed. I’m able to work two jobs (and drive myself to both), write a little, and even smile. These may not sound like big accomplishments, but to someone with depression and anxiety, they’re huge.

And slowly, I’m working toward making even bigger steps. In a couple of days, when my divorce is final and this is all behind me, I’ll have to completely rebuild. I have already started my foundation but I need to take the rubble and build something new: a world of my own. One in which I have strength to hold up under pressure without crumbling.

 

 

 

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4 thoughts on “Rebuild

  1. Hi – I am juts scrolling posts tonight and your story touched me! And congrats for doing the work towards your wellness and it is a big deal to have those accomplishments – and sorry about the divorce, and while it sounds cheesy to say that good things are in store – I firmly believe it – 😉
    I do not know the details of your breakup and so I have nothing to really add – except sending a blog hug!
    Oh and I am working on a writing project from the year 1992 and was just noting how a newly divorced lady was sharing on the radio one day and her “story” shaped me developing perspective at the time!
    Anyhow – best wishes and you are a good writer – this was succint and nice flow –
    💕🌸

    Liked by 2 people

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